I Have to Say, “Yes!”
It was mid-morning on July 4th. We had settled into a low key, relaxing day at home as we waited for the evening fireworks and festivities. I was incredibly tired, coming off a long and busy day before. As I was just starting to get into a real “chill” mode, my 16-year-old daughter hit me with a question. “Hey dad, you want to go to Walmart with me?” Huh? Walmart, on the 4th of July. A word quickly entered my brain. Well, it was actually two words: Absolutely not! with an emphasis on the absolutely. Thankfully, those words did not come out of my mouth, and I decided to put into action a practice I started a few years ago. My mind moved from Absolutely Not! to I have to say, “Yes!”
It all started a few years ago. My daughter and I stumbled onto a way to spend time together that was fun for both of us. One night just the two of us were at home, and we decided to go for a ride in the car. We found a great loop in our town where we could roll down the windows, relax, listen to some music, and cruise. It was such a refreshing experience for both of us that we got in the habit of doing this every few weeks, usually when my wife and son were out. As time progressed, she would occasionally randomly ask, “Hey dad, you want to go for a ride?” Lots of times, I was down for it, and we had a great time. But there started to be nights when we would have dinner (usually late because of our schedules), she would finish her homework, and it would be sneaking up on bedtime (at least for me). At somewhere between 10 and 10:30 pm, my daughter would say, “Hey dad, you want to go for a ride?” I would think: OK wait. It’s 10:30 at night, I’m exhausted, I have to be up early for another long day at work, and this ride will likely take at least an hour, which will likely put my head on the pillow at around midnight. Hmmmm!?!
I’m training myself to think: I have to say, “Yes!”
My teenage daughter was asking for time with me. She wanted to spend an hour or so talking, connecting, and building our relationship. Who says “No!” to that? In a world where it’s so easy for us to grow relationally distant from our kids, we have to look for and take opportunities to deepen our connection and relationship with them. Sometimes, on these rides, we simply look out the window and sing along to the tunes. Other times, we stumble into a meaningful conversation about friends, family, church, politics, and life. I know I don’t have very many years left where she’ll live in our house, and we’ll have such close proximity. I know there won’t be as many moments where I can spend time with her and continue to build our relationship. When she asks for my time, I can’t always say, “Yes!” but, if I’m honest, most of the time I can. I can set aside whatever is drawing my attention or I think needs my effort, and I can choose to spend time with someone I treasure. I’ve learned that, when it comes to my kids and giving them time, when I can, I have to say, “Yes!”